Light Surrounding You
by purple.skivvy
Summary: Why didn't Kartik choose a life at sea? One shot.


**Disclaimer: The Gemma Doyle Trilogy belongs to Libba Bray. The title, 'Light Surrounding You' belongs to Evermore.**

**Light Surrounding You**

**(Kartik's POV)**

It was our signal.

Whenever Gemma wanted to speak with me she would place my red bandana underneath her window. It was her way of telling me that she had news. She knew that I would listen to her every word and take in every nuance of her vivid hand gestures or the slight tilt of her chin when she was contemplating something. She knew that I was out there somewhere. Waiting to fulfill my destiny.

Destiny was something that I consulted from time to time, like a lucky charm carefully folded in the palm of one's hand when they felt it necessary to make a wish. I treated destiny as a simple reassurance that my life had been perfectly planned out and I would need no further explanation. I always believed that I was expected to perform a certain duty or fulfill a particular task that would allow me to skip with ease across the stepping stones of life. I never questioned destiny.

But tonight this was all about to change.

After training with the Rakshana it is a wonder to anyone whom I have revealed my fear of heights too. With the red bandana bundled tightly in my left hand I began the perilous ascent to Gemma's window. I guessed that throwing stones would have been a safer bet but I could not risk being caught by one of the fearsome teachers at Spence that Gemma had described to me when she visited me on those cold, crisp mornings at her family's stable.

I carefully positioned my foot on one of the large grey stones which was yet to crumble for several hundred years and my body suddenly tensed. I could hear footsteps in the distance. They weren't heavy footsteps, like the person was adamant to complete a mission. They were light and hesitant as if the person was lost, waiting for the night to carry them to their destination.

Silence.

I was ready for the confrontation. I knew exactly what to say to every question that would be posed to me. I had planned my escape route and I had even snuck in a great parting line which would leave the intruder in a state of confusion and mislead them to think that they had simply seen something that did not exist. It was all within my reach.

However, in reality, being prepared for a situation like this would be near impossible.

"Who's there?"

Either of us could have said that and the logic behind it is more than clear. When you have spent numerous sleepless nights thinking about fate and destiny, you don't really doubt yourself or the person whom your destiny or fate should be carried out with. I used to think that Gemma and I knew each other fairly well before we even met each other, like someone had carefully carved out our relationship.

I stepped down, making sure that I did not fall backwards only to have Gemma attempt to catch my fall.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

I knew the answer. It must have had something to do with the realms. Perhaps she wanted to find another missing piece in the jigsaw puzzle that her mother had left her. Or another mystery to solve.

"Sleepwalking", she said as if it were the most natural thing to do in the world.

There was a hint of bitterness that indicated that I should have known better. That I should know _her_ better.

"Well you sound awfully articulate for someone who's sleepwalking".

She pinned me down with a death glare that made me realize that my remark, with the intension of being lighthearted was anything but that after our debacle at the fair where I insisted that I had no future here in London. And no future in the realms.

However, destiny put me back in my place.

Gemma offered a single unenthusiastic laugh.

"I was having a very pleasant dream that you weren't a part of. So I'll be on my way".

She emphasized "you" with such contempt as if she believed that I was the one responsible for the collapse of the realms. I didn't know what to say, and I clenched my fists to restrain myself from revealing my regret, my desire to make amends and the sudden wave of sorrow which had washed over me. The lines of disappointment were clearly drawn on my face.

Despite the red bandana that I still held in my hand Gemma continued to push on into the night. I knew that she would walk as far as she could. She would walk until she knew she was lost then she would look up at the moon. The very same moon that was bearing down on both of us.

Although she implied that she did not intend to listen to my apologies, or my promise to form an alliance with her, something else struck me at that particular moment.

The moon cast an eerie glow upon Gemma. In my eyes she seemed different as if her former self had suddenly vanished for a fleeting moment.

To me, she looked like a creature of the realms.

I turned away before I found out whether or not she disappeared into the night. I turned away before she did, so I could discern fact from fiction, love from lust, and discipline from..chaos.

…**..**

I was not meant to see her that night. She had wanted our brief meeting to be a dream.

Dreams always create a certain illusion which stretch far beyond the realms of our imagination and motivate us to answer those questions which matter most.

But what matters most to me are not the questions that get answered.

It's the ones that don't.


End file.
